The other day, as a peer-discussion opener, my professor posed the question, “who would narrate the voice inside your head?” To this I responded, “which one?” (this elicited a chuckle). My answer was Sir David Attenborough. Despite my adoration for this lovable British accent, I find myself frequently attempting (and failing) to silence him. My internal monologue along with the supporting acts vocalize every possible outcome, overanalyze the nonverbal cues of my peers, and remind me that I am being perceived at every given moment. Though this anxious rambling can be somewhat comforting at times due to its persistent familiarity, I often pull at my hair and bite my finger nails hoping they give me one minute of peace and quiet. I have found that this never works and the only thing that helps keep them at bay is music.
Growing up, my mother instilled in my older sibling and I the importance of good music. With no television or radio, I was raised on the classics of her generation, from the Kinks to Bob Dylan, Cat Stevens to The Velvet Underground. On car rides to school, we would discuss whether The Rolling Stones or the Beatles were better (the Stones are the correct answer by the way). My mother’s specificities on what qualified as music-worth-listening-to rarely included what my friends sang during recess. Never catching Bieber-fever or identifying as a “Directioner,” I’ve always found it difficult to label my music taste, leading to dread of the question “what kind of music do you listen to?” But today, I am going to explain the music that helps me, the circumstances in which I employ these artists and genres, and hopefully leave you with a few exciting recommendations.
A Reminder of the Impermanence of it All
This is what I imagine would play in the soundtrack of an Indie coming-of-age-style movie about my teenage years. Upbeat with deeply introspective and mildly concerning lyrics, I listen to this music when I need to remind myself that I am SO young and things are SO unimportant in the grand scheme of it all. Artists like Maggie Rodgers, the Backseat Lovers, and Ethel Cain help me to recalibrate my perspective and romanticize the imperfection and malfunction that life prompts.
3 Standout songs in this category:
Evergreen by Ricky Mitch & The Coal Miners
Wide Open Spaces by Soccer Mommy
Next of Kin by Alvvays
Waterboarding the Voices
This category is meant to be played loudly with eyes squeezed shut. More of a recent hyper fixation for me, I have found that 90s grunge music is a glorious treatment to symptoms such as claw marks on the prefrontal cortex, permanent eye bags, and the squeezing lump in my throat. A temporary fix, but I have found great success in the screeching betrayal that this genre conveys (especially successful on nighttime wanders used as a procrastinating method for a looming issue one must inevitably face). Radiohead, My Body Valentine, and Nirvana is for the anger, confusion, burnout, and learning to lean into the horrors.
3 Standout songs in this category:
Cherry Waves by Deftness
You Oughta Know by Alanis Morissette
Everlong by Foo Fighters
I’m Done Being Sad! (Delusion)
When all else fails, gaslighting and self-manipulation is always an option, a temporary and arguably unhealthy one, but an option none the less. This genre is for those prone to denial and suppression. Why be sad when you could be happy? Better than any prescription drug (not that I’ve tried many), these songs will crack a smile on the face of even the Debbiest of Downers. Dealers choice, from trashy country to 2000s pop throwbacks, if it makes you happy, it belongs here. A release of a beautiful, unadulterated neurotransmitter cocktail of Dopamine and Serotonin, the Killers and Nicki Minaj never fail to make me get off my ass and dance it out.
3 Standout songs in this category:
Float On by Modest Mouse
One Dance by Drake, Wizkid, Kyla
Never Be Like You by Flume, kai
Whatever, At Least I’m Hot
A subgenera of the previous, this is more specific to the God-Complex having, Leo rising, sexies of the world, also known as “The Girlies.” I recommend listening to these songs in as little clothing as possible and in front of as many mirrors as possible. Perfect for getting ready before a party, on the way to seeing a situationship, or alone post a glass or two of rosé. Though slightly superficial and narcissistic, I find it extremely comforting to remember that even if everything in my life has gone to shit, I can turn up my music, stop thinking, and appreciate that there are people in the world that would either kill to be me or kill to be with me. I’m not usually a fan of rap music, but in this situation, nothing feels better than a man disguising sexualizing and degrading women as compliments on their bodies.
3 Standout songs in this category:
Slut Me Out by NLE Choppa
Super Freaky Girl by Nicki Minaj
Promiscuous by Nelly Furtado, Timbaland
Salt In The Wound
Sometimes, though we rarely want to, we must listen to the voices in our head. However painful and overwhelming, they are there for a reason. Salt in the wound is exactly as it sounds, magnifying and intensifying the pain to allow ourselves to feel the full extent of the pain, longing, and exhaustion. Like watching a soldier coming home from war video or commercial of an old man eating alone on Christmas, these songs bring along the tears and heartache that eventually cleanses the soul. Phoebe Bridgers, Cigarettes After Sex, and The Smiths collect all the feelings I am so often unable to put into words and pair them with the most melancholy, gut wrenching melodies I’ve ever heard. In acknowledging the hurt we feel and realizing that others share it, it helps me and my internal monologue calm at the fact that I am not special, that others have felt it and made it through. The only way out is through, and I suppose this music helps remind me that the “through” part sucks sometimes for everyone else too.
3 Standout songs in this category:
Mirrorball by Taylor Swift
Halah by Mazzy Star
You’re Gonna Go Far by Noah Kahan
For more recommendations and meticulously curated playlists, give me a follow on Spotify at tabitha*randlett or shoot me a note! Happy listening!
