I'm Just a Girl!

March is here and with it comes International Women’s Day. Though we may be what Simone de Beauvoir has coined “The Second Sex,” and living as a woman under a patriarchal world is certainly taxing, I can’t seem to imagine enjoying identifying with a community more than the one I do. At the end of the day, I am just a girl, and what a beautiful thing that can be. Today, I would like to offer a moment of acknowledgment and appreciation for the trials and tribulations of girlhood by sharing my five favorite things that femininity brings. 

1. I love getting ready to go out to a party or dinner with my female friends and all sitting on the floor in front of the same mirror. I love the unspoken barter of a spritz of perfume for the borrowing of a top and the offering of assistance in straightening the hard to reach back of the head section of hair. I love the way compliments are thrown across the room in a frenzy of admiration, each specified to fit the individual accordingly, “the way your mascara makes your eyes pop,” “those jeans were made for you,” “its giving effortless cool girl chic,” “Carrie Bradshaw meets Audry Hepburn.” Undeniably my favorite part of any activity is the before bit, when I get to sit with the people I love listening to early 2010s throwbacks in the oversized shirts and no pants look we sport before putting our real outfits on. To me, this is the epitome of sisterhood, like the grown up version of the fashion shows I had as a child, now wrapped in the blanket of support and community that my friends graciously offer me. 

2. In my Intro to Communications class last year, I learned about something called agentic friendships. These are friendships where the people involved are devoted to completing a specific goal or pursuing the same interest. Usually, this is the type of relationship that men have with their male friends. For example, watching football on Sundays or going to the gym together. On the other hand are communal friendships, which female friends typically engage in. These involve emotional support and spending time together. While I love going on random side quests, I love that the girls and I only need each other to have a good time. Whether in a grocery store, coffee shop, park bench, or sitting on my kitchen floor, the goal is connection and bonding. We gossip, we debrief our lives, we complain, we introspect, and we hold space for loving each other. We are solely and entirely there for the company of the other, with no mask of nonchalance, we make sure to carve out time to exist among one another. 

3. I am forever entranced by the level of blind disclosure and loyalty that comes with being a girl. I cannot count the number of times I have had conversations with strangers in the women’s bathroom at a club (some of which I have remained in contact with to this day). The best part? Most of these conversations began with a simple exchange in compliments. I may go in to reapply my lipgloss or escape a sweaty dance floor but I leave with my self esteem boosted, the validation that I am a tolerable (sometimes even enjoyable!) human, and loads of life advice from an unbiased source. No wonder the lines for mens bathrooms are always shorter- how bored they must be! 

4. This one may be a little controversial, but I love that women are expected to be emotional. I can’t imagine a life without emotion. If we feel it, why hide it? I love to cry at videos of dogs reuniting with owners and soldiers coming home. I love to rant my over-thinking crazy thoughts to my friends about how my boyfriend texted “love u” instead of “I love you.” I love to jump up and down when I’m finally reunited with a good friend who has moved away. I love to dance and wiggle my head when I eat food that tastes really yummy. I love to scream in the car to songs about heartbreak and revenge. I love to make a big deal over nothing, because then, I make it something. Life is too short to not have everything mean something, and I love that I get the space to make that happen. 

5. I love being a girlie. From overly sweet cocktails with mini umbrellas to Taylor Swift to trying on shoes I cannot afford to posting my heart-shaped latte art on Instagram, I love embracing my femininity and acting like a “basic white girl.” In fact, I’ve always hated that being basic is considered an insult. If something is popular, it means it brings a lot of people joy. Why would I not want joy? Being different does not make one any superior to another, and this term puts other women down in the process. So what if I want everything in my home to be pink or wear an outfit I saw on someone else and thought was cute? They say imitation is the highest form of flattery, so I see fitting into these girly tropes as compliments to every woman around me. My Lululemon leggings and Stanley water bottle are saying I see you, and you look amazing. 

There is so much more that I could write here, but I think I will leave you with this final thought: in times where women are being persecuted and having their rights taken away, it is easy to find your place in the world daunting. While acknowledging these horrors and allowing for the pain they bring, don’t forget the love. Once you start recognizing the beauty in things you may take for granted, life opens up. And remember, send extra xoxo’s to my fellow ladies out there this month.